Thursday, 29 November 2007

And still bleeding ....

Been "confined to bed" since Tuesday, have heavy cramps (more than usual with period) and my head is playing up as well. Not up to anything - and I still have to do my Christmas Cards etc!!!

DH bought a long cable for my laptop so I can go online from the bedroom and probably from downstairs as well (to be tested once I feel better). THANKS HUN! At least I don't have to get myself into the study & sitting up for long.

Everyone I've been talking to is saying that there is still a hope, that it's only the one beanie gone maybe, and I have the childish hope that it's only the cyst bleeding out. But ... don't think we'll get a positive tomorrow. :(

Have had a good cry on Tuesday already, feeling cheated because we WERE pregnant and then lost it at week 5 and now it doesn't even look like it's taken! :( WHY is it always such a crap game of lottery?!?!?!

Is IVF working for me? What's going to happen if I can only carry for 5 weeks? Time to think about other options? DARN, this is really not fair! Why do WE have to think about all this? We give all our time to community sport, don't smoke, hardly have any alcohol (and then only me), don't do drugs, don't have any convictions etc. WHY US and not those neds who breed like rabbits??????

The treatment puts a strain on us as well, as I behave odd and DH does not know how to "handle" me and seems to say lots of wrong things (well... from my point of view ... he only means well, I know that!). And he doesn't get the whole physical pain either, which probably makes it harder for him.

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