Monday, 30 June 2008

Nope, still nothing...

And I have the funny feeling that there won't be anything coming (period) tomorrow either. As I said, my body temp seems to have gone up and this wasn't one of the side effects from Cyclogest or the impending period in the past. Or did the temp go up at the chemical pregnancy last year? Would have to check with DH. :o

I've just spent approx. 2 hours to scan 88 photos from our first Florida trip in September 1999. That's 6 or 8 (?) packs of photos down (still at a time when DH made me print duplicates! :o Think I did that until 2002/2003...) and lots more to come. :) I will try to scan approx 5-10 packs of photos per week until I have done all the photos in my 2 boxes.

In between I'll sort the photos into proper Photo boxes (from Cropper Hopper etc.) and make sure I burn CDs and do the back up on the external hard drive.

And then I just have to scrap ... oops! :)

What brought that on? Apart from me not being happy with my current photo storage for ages already that is? It's Doerte's CJ (German) with the theme "What is my favourite holiday destination?" Due to the several trips to US & Canada since I met DH I wanted to show lots of photos from there ... but funny enough, since I moved to Digi I only took photos from our Halloween Trip in 2005 ... and as I have taken already sooo many Disney photos in the past, I didn't bother taking more ... and of course the fact that I accidentally formatted the CF card 1/2 way in the holiday ... That still hurts me, and we have to go back to do the same tour at Kennedy Space Centre again, as well as going to Ohio with a visit at the Football Hall of Fame and the Adamsons. Just happened because it was just 1 month I had the Canon 350D (my first digi) and I thought change format would be through the option "format" ... well... of course this did something totally different!!! :( We spoke to photo developing shops in Florida afterwards, to see if we can save the photos, but apparently this only works if you have deleted the photos ... not formatted the card.

Ah well... that's already 2.5 years ago, and the card has been formatted (on purpose!) since.

Day 13

Ok... going slightly mental now... :o Constant knicker watch (with no signs), had slight cramps this morning but also dodgy tummy (probably from low veggie dinner yesterday ... OOPS) and better now.

This cycle I am feeling more positive than the other ones. Body temp feels going up, I am a "furnace" during night and have swapped the duvet for a sheet at the moment. But when I check the temp it shows normal. Huh!

Usually I had AF turning up the day before the blood test, or last time I started bleeding earlier (then had the chemical pg, the week after a normal pg and then the hCG going down again to a nothing).

Soooo ... can we hope? I could really do with a BFP, third time lucky and all that, specially after all the crap life had thrown in my life since January already.

Well... have to go to the clinic tomorrow for about 8am, get the blood test (and another scan for the OHSS) and then have to sit on my hands until lunch time... ugh! What a nasty thing really, to have to wait soooo long! :( I know, I know, I could have used a pee stick, but it's kinda a principle of mine ... to avoid getting hopes up etc. And we have to go for the blood test anyway, so why spend money on it???? :)

Today I have been doing some bits of housework and then have been mostly checking the Wolves program, preparing forms to be sent tomorrow and finally did one of the 2 CJ entries I have to do asap. :o Will do the other one tomorrow while we're waiting for the result.

Oh ... and I am currently scanning photos from my pre-digi times (and believe me, there are TONS)... wish I had one of those scanners that have a photo feeder... Hohummm....

Ok... think it's time for a knicker check again... ;)

Saturday, 28 June 2008

Doctor Who... Regeneration????

OOOOOKKKKKK... they wouldn't ... would they? He's signed up for the 4 special episodes in 2009, and believe he's also signed for series 5?

They better not be!! :(

And the worst of all is ... we've got a blinking game on the 5th July with kick off at 4pm! AAAARRGGGHHH!!!

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

All ok

Clinic finally called back (geesh, they are always soooo busy! :) ), blood test is ok so I don't have to come back before the regular testing date, but at that date they want to do another scan as well.

Feeling nauseous, but don't want to read anything into this. Just got a bowl of Greek Yog with honey for me, little treat.

Still haven't done the CJ entries, but finished washing up and have put on 3rd wash cycle.

One more week to go ....

Been to the clinic this morning for a "non-invasive scan" (so ... no dildo cam ... ROTFL) which is totally new after all the internal scans during IVF and cyst problems etc. Suppose... since yesterday I am at the "implantation stage" I think, so they don't want to interrupt anything. :D

Couldn't find any fluid, and the right ovary is back to normal size (and the left one was hiding again). Have to keep taking Clexane until Sunday though (prevent blood clotting). Haydeh also took blood (love it when she has to do it - she gets my veins normally at once) and I have to call them in 10 to get the result (i.e. whether I have to go back before our test date for more OHSS scans). Don't think they could give me info on the outcome of the cycle yet. :(

Was feeling a bit nauseous and had heartburn this morning... Could all be signs of all 3 things - Cyclogest, aunt flo arriving or being pregnant. It's just not FAIR!! :(

Went to Dobbies after hospital (DH took bus to work), got some PaperMania stuff there (couldn't get the Oriental paper pad ... :( ) and tasted the infused vinegars again ... love that stuff!! :) And succumbed Yankee Candle Tarts again ... oops! Lovely smelly stuff though. Oh, and they have opened up the back - a very big restaurant now, and more books and clothing as well.

Am upstairs, eating lunch and then will try to do the 2 CJ entries for Dani's Forum. And maybe a little more scrapping... but have to clear the desk first.

As for "Scrap your day" - I forgot to take a photo of the clock this morning, and of my breakfast... hohummm.... Brain's not really available right now. ;)

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

a reminder

a reminder
Originally uploaded by shimelle
I've not even started my album, and I am working 1 month in arrears, but have to remember to take my camera with me around tomorrow!! :)

Feel free to join! Info can be found on Shimelle's Blog.

Day 4 after 3dt

It's 1 week after egg collection now, so I believe we're getting to the "implantation" stage hopefully. :) Knicker checking every couple of hours, no blood at all so far. PHEW! Had cramps and back pain yesterday afternoon, like period coming along, but more or less gone today.

Have been reading everyday about 2ww signs and making myself totally mental that way!! :( At least I don't have the OHSS pain anymore, just sometimes it hurts when I am twisting or stretching a bit weird. So that's good.

The "bullets" cause problems this time round, but will stick to using them as prescribed... burning and itching (sorry, TMI). :o Still 1 more week to go though ... hope I will be able to survive. :o

Just back from lunch with my friend and ex-colleague Fiona at the Gyle. Felt a bit funny on the 20 mins bus ride and am still not 100% right. Definitely good I've taken off time work for the 2ww again.

Lots of talk about work but even more so about her wedding plans! :D She got engaged in Berlin ... and wee stupid here didn't have a card at hand. Ah well, we're planning to meet again end of July, so will have one ready then.

Think I am going to have a try at the CJ entries now ... really have to get them out of the way soon. Feeling already guilty... :o

Friday, 20 June 2008

ET @ 3day

Our embies were good, had 7 eight cells grade 2 embies, 2 got back on board and 4 are getting frozen and the last one is a bit "off" so that's going to be a donation to medicine I think. :)

Got pain in right ovary which is very enlarged (swollen), and have to set injections to prevent blood clotting as well as my hormone level is very high. Back in clinic for Wednesday.

Had acupuncture straight after ET and Julia is fairly happy with me, but wants to see me again on Friday ... first time we're trying twice during 2ww.

Now just have to take things easy and flop on the couch I'd say. :)

Shame I won't be able to go on the Annual Fun Road Trip of the Wolves down to Merseyside (it's a themed Trip, last year was "Baby's day out" and this time it's "The 80s/Fitness DVD/Kids from Fame"). This would have even been a theme I'd dress up for!! :D

Hope the "boys" will cope ok without either Doug or me and will bring home another win!!!

Oh ... and we're testing on CANADA DAY!!! :D

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Embies update

Just spoke to the clinic ... we've got 7 fertilised, 1 was abnormal .... I am not sure what happened to the missing 3 but hey... I'm ok with 7! :)

And now the biggie ... we've got to phone them Friday morning to get an update on how they are doing... if they're still going strong, cell dividing and all that, then we'll be down for a 5 day BLASTOCYST transfer on Sunday ... never had that!!! Wooohooo!!! If they are not looking good enough for that, then we're going for a 3-day-transfer on Friday.

So ... will keep you updated. :D

Day 1 after collection

Bedrest for me today ... still pain, and due another couple of paracetamol in a sec.

But hey, it's just the usual thing... aspiration is not that nice, I just hope that I won't have problems with the follies filling with fluid and causing OHSS ("Ueberstimulation").

Yesterday was a result, only 11 out of the 24+ follies actually matured, so we can go ahead with embryo transfer this week. I have to call them in 1 hour to find out whether it's going to be tomorrow or Friday. Hopefully the little embies behave and do nice cell splitting!!

Thanks for all the nice comments. Anam/Livvy - I didn't mean you hun in my ranty post. ((Hugs))

Monday, 16 June 2008

Day before EC - and first video post!!! :D

I am feeling like a huge ball with lots of little ball bearings inside ... huh! Not nice. Just hoping that everything is going ok tomorrow, and that I won't get my ET cancelled. Fingers crossed and all that.

Something totally different ... I have tried to do this for quite some time now, but the video on my mobile was on the wrong settings ... :( Shame, now they are all but grown up!! :o

We've got 1-2 families every year on the pond at work, and they come back every year. It's really cute, quite relaxing as well when you take your lunch break on one of the benches outside.

Here are some pics from when they were younger and much more cuddly!! :D

This year work actually installed cameras so we can watch the duckies inside the building in the break "pods" on the Intranet.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Waiting for 11:30

That's just cruel ... I am now in bed, waiting for the clock to tick over to 11:30pm so I can set the final injection for this drive.

Bit scared ... hoping that my body behaves and that I won't end up with OHSS on Tuesday when we have EC. Apparently I got 24+ follies on the right ovary, so if they all mature I am DEFINITELY in for OHSS and that means only retrieval but not a transfer, all embies into deep freeze. :(

Sooooo ... hoping for the best but of course won't know until Tuesday after EC.

Thursday, 12 June 2008

First day of 2 injection

Gosh, I forgot how itchy the suppressing injections (Buserelin) can be!!! On the other hand the stims injection is a bit painful, must have hit a spot where I got a little bruising before. OUCH.

Plans today are doing some bits around the house, acupuncture at 2, swimming at 5:15 and cinema tonight (The Incredible Hulk) with the "Geek Squad". :) Or at least part of them, had a couple of call offs already because it's Thursday ... well, Wolves HQ is going into overdrive again tomorrow with personal stuff and game day prep.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

.On the other hand

... I think I am quite happy that my ovvies are still responding so well and producing a lot ... there's of course always the fear that there won't be any eggs/not enough eggs to be collected like one of my previous cycle buddies last year who had to cancel her cycle because of unresponsive ovaries and now has to go for donor eggs. :O

Not again....

Scan number 1 - lots of eggies (think we counted approx 13 in the right ovary alone!) and fairly big sizes. Lining is fairly thick as well.

However, when the doc was counting the eggs and giving the sizes (between 7 and 10.5mm) I kinda got worried about OHSS.

Had the blood taken for hormone levels and did the daily injection at the clinic before heading to work. Phoned the clinic at lunchtime and the nurse just confirmed my suspicions. Not really OHSS yet, but close enough for them deciding I've to half the amoung of powdery vials from 3 to 1.5 and I am taking 2 liquid vials instead of 1.

DH has already said "Same as last year then" - he doesn't understand that they always start my menopour that high...the only thing I can think of is the fact that I have been on Zolly for down regging and they don't know how good my body will respond. It's the opposite of a trip to the hairdressers, where you ask them to cut a little bit first and then you can increase the inches getting cut off.... ;)

Upping the water intake and will be googling what else is suggested in that situation (obviously!!!). Next scan is on Friday, and the EC is pencilled in for Wednesday. I have already told work that I'll be working Monday/Tuesday next week.

Talking of work ... having another work mate being pregnant doesn't help much, but having her throwing in the "if it's meant to be it's meant to be", "have you thought about adoption?", "I know other women are bigger than you and conceive - maybe you're just not healthy for it?" (ok, she's about twice my size and I am doing detox/back to gym/swim... now WHO is healthy???) etc. is even worse and rubs me the wrong way. ACK! I am not too happy when people think they know what position I am in just because it took them very long to NATURALLY conceive and give "good advice". Yes, she had miscarriages (weight problem?) in the past, but still... It's blimming different to being able to naturally get a baby (and she has already a daughter) and to know that you are relying on all those different doctors looking into your innards, injecting yourself with hormones, just skidding past OHSS, painful EC, hoping all is going well (embryos doing cell division as they're supposed to), having ET and then of course the 2 weeks wait.

It is different when you know DAY 1 of your PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)! Reading into any signs/symptoms which could be either way from the pessaries, aunt flo about to turn up and being pregnant.


Ok... had to let that out.

And then my sis is dropping the info of her having to look into my mum getting some form of disability stuff sorted. I know I know, she doesn't know the grading and one of my friends I think is classified mildly disabled due to arthritis, but it's still a bomb, isn't it?? Will know more tomorrow.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Let's get stimming!! :)

This morning was the first injection due ... and because I am working 2 days per week and the injections should be done approx the same time I've decided to do the "needlework" around 7:45am . HUH! Not very nice on my days off and the weekend, specially if you cannot fall asleep again afterwards as the whole thing feels like either chemistry or cooking class... take 1 vial of liquid, flick down liquid into bottom part, break vial neck, attach big needle to syringe, pull up liquid with syringe, fill 1st vial with powder, mix, pull up solution and fill 2nd vial,mix, pull up in syringe, fill 3rd vial, mix, pull up in syringe, change needle, flick out all air bubbles, squeeze tummy fat, wipe with alcoholic wipe, inject, dispose of syringe/needle/alcoholic wipe.

And all that takes approx 10 mins. And that's only for the 1st injection! From 12th I have to inject the down regging (shutting down) stuff as well as the Zolly will be at its end then. AAAH, joy!

But all went well. Just feels funny, as I did that the last time in May 2007 ... the last cycle was a natural FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer), so no injecting at all.

Have been to my "voodoo" person, Julia, and as usual the session turned into a bit of a Psychology sesh as well.... :) I am just fed up with everything, from my gran dying this year, over my mum being in hospital for 5 weeks so far and all the scares we get from there (and being totally helpless as I am up here) and then the whole IVF stuff. Filling in the first of the forms made me realise that we've been trying for a baby without and with IVF for 6 (!!!!) years now!! SCARY, isn't it??

And Julia is not that happy with my tongue ... and that after me doing detox for a week already! :o

Problem is my Endo and the recurring cyst ... while others are having approx 2 shots at IVF per year, I seem to get only 1 fresh per year as the rest of the time I have a cyst that needs drained and may come back etc.

ANYWAY! Nice day, off to do some washing - hopefully can hang up some stuff outside.