My Life's Ingredients

We left early this morning for Newcastle ... wanted to go to the Metro Centre (to eat at Big Luke's :) and go shopping) and Doug wanted to show me Whitley Bay (he lived there as a child and I've never been ... and would be my first seaside resort in the UK!!! :) ) Left an hour later than planned, and it was all a drissle in Edinburgh, but we believed in the MET Centre and hoped for nicer weather down in Northern England. :) As it was, we just came towards the Coastal Route in Northumberland and the sun came out! :) We got onto the coastal route a bit north of Bamburgh, as I wanted to see that place (a couple of fellow scrappers from UKS are going to the beach there from time to time). Beautiful beaches, a bit tacky in the smaller seaside resorts (but then - not as bad as the Canadian side of Niagara Falls!!!) and nice castles. We saw Bamburgh and then drove through Warksworth, where DH ended up by accident when he was a student! :) Knicker checking during the trip was weir...

Mmmmh... headaches, a little pulling pain, and now some dark brown spotting (but really just a little, goes away after dabbing - SORRY, TMI!) ... wonder if my body decided to take its time and does implantation bleed later than normal???? I don't think that both embies are making it ... but I have a little hope that maybe my little 1-grader (LOL) hangs on!!! Could do with the long wait though .... :( Tomorrow we're off to Newcastle for the day ... bit walking about, going to the MetroCentre for Big Luke's (first time), Hotel Chocolat (first time in Newcastle) and Hobbycrafts - and Toys R Us for Doug... :D Mood goes up and down ... considering what we woman (and partners/hubbies) are going through with IVF we should get a definite YES or NO!!! Not such a stupid limbo stuff!!! :( Little one, hang on ... maybe your great granddad (RIP) can help you to stick???

After mad dashes to the toilet since yesterday evening (about every 25 mins or so) we went to the clinic for the blood test. Coming home, watching "Justice League Unlimited" DVDs in bed ... called ACU at 12:15pm for the result ... and what does DH get? Biochemical pregnancy with hCG Level 27!!!! :( 50+ is normal pregnancy, 5 and lower is a negative. Soooo... what the heck is going on? Clinic is not very positive that I will end up with a BFP, I've searched on FF and there are a few who went with a low hCG Level to a BFP. New Blood test on Monday. So that means we are most likely to have a negative, but we cannot go on holiday because it's not written in stone yet!!!! :( $%&*@ !!! Am I feeling positive .. well.. not really, no. And DH is totally shattered. :( As if the whole process is not enough, now we have to get that rubbish as well!!!! Stinking headache, pulling pain on the left side where the left ovary is supposed to sit (but mine isn't there) .... c...

... and I am going totally nuts. It's just not fair that symptoms during a 2ww (2 week wait) can point in 3 directions ... either it's from the "bullets" (progesteron pessaries), a sign for the period to start or the long awaited signs for getting a positive result!!! Couldn't go back to sleep this morning at 7:30am after I have "put the bullet in", watched a bit TV (gosh... I KNOW why we're out at JKC on Sundays ... there's absolutely NOTHING on TV!!!), packed the bag with the Kit for Doug to take to JKC and then went searching for a piece of paper which is missing from the last game day - suffice to say ... I couldn't find it, but the living room is a little bit tidier than it was before. Have been spending a couple of hours reading my book "Crusaders Gold" by David Gibbins. I've read his book "Atlantis" last year and just had to buy the new one when I saw it at WHSmiths. It's one of the few things that keep m...

Scrapbooking-wise. Haven't done anything in ages ... and ok, my brain just doesn't work at the moment for that. I hope I can do something once I have my result ... and hopefully it's going to be a positive one!! I have been doing frantic Xstitch yesterday night and today though, MIL's birthday card. :) Doug and I went over to see them in the afternoon, after I've spent nearly all day in bed (with crampy tummy, trapped wind - sorry TMI - and else totally worried about the whole result). Stitching kept my mind focused at least. :o Had a nice piece of choc cake at the inlaws and spend some time with them - they will be off to Madeira on Sunday and BIL will follow a week later. So ... we need to text or e-mail them with the result on Monday.

Well... that's game 2 out of 3 against the Tigers done now ... both home games done, so we just have a trip to Cambuslang. Our scheduling is just absolutely not in our favours this year - last game we had a game at Easter Road (Hibs against Celtic I think it was) and today was the FA Cup. Just no way to get a decent crowd into the stadium!!! And the weather was really not on our side this time either ... I felt like being at a Claymores training session at Stepps!! Rain, Sunshine, Rain, Stormy winds ... at least we didn't have snow/hail this time!! ;) As for me ... Doug relieved me off my duties as Team Trainer today, because of the current situation. So all I did was taking pictures ... with a nearly empty battery and reduced disk space on my big CF Card!! ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!! Still managed good shots and lots of them ... and the game was in our favour again, although 28:20 is too close for my liking!!! :o Hope we can get that sorted for the next game in July. Else ... it's ...

... that's what I am since 11:30am today. :) And nobody can tell me that "this doesn't exist"... :) The embryologist was very happy, we have 2 embies back on board, one being a grade 1 (didn't have that last year!!!) and the other being a grade 2. Nice numbers of cells as well.... :) Had a bit trouble with the speculum (as usual - they explained they are not allowed to use lubricant because it is not good for the embies). Then the picture was a bit unclear ... and that being with a full bladder... the consultant said "you are a bit on the bigger side - no offence"... LOL. He really knows how to put stuff past me... ;) But I just replied "Wouldn't surprise me if the bladder is not where it's supposed to be - considering where my ovaries are!" So... now it's today and tomorrow taking it very slowly, probably spending time on the couch - don't care what Doug is saying about that. I didn't do it last time, it's recommended ...

Just read a post from one of the other ERI girls on Fertility Friends with the results of her EC (egg collection). She got 10 eggs out ... and NONE fertilised. .... Now THAT'S HARSH!! I'm off to stand in my little corner now ... :( Mmmh... apparently the embies are supposed to look like this now.

Well... looks like I will be back at my old work again on Thursday for a talk with Adecco and then have 1 day working (for a special "control" I used to do for 6.5 years) ... and will be back for 2 days per week from 11th June for a bit. Funny that, specially after I've said I don't want to go back to that company... :o Well, I am going to concentrate on studying again come June as I suspect that the next re-sit for the 2nd part of my diploma will be in August.

Right, phoned ERI - no reply so left a message for them to phone back. And the results are through... 6 fertilised eggs, 5 fertilised abnormally, 1 was too small and the other one didn't show any reaction at all.... :o So, that means it's about 1/2 that fertilised ... last time we had 8 fertilised with less eggs, so I just hope that the grading is better. Not enough grade 1 & 2s though, means we're going for a day 3 transfer instead of blastocyst (we would have needed 5 embies graded 1 or 2). Feeling a bit worried now .... just hope that the little ones hang in there, do the nice cell splitting and keep growing until Thursday when I hopefully will get 2 on board again.

Went in to ERI for 8am and was ushered to the recovery room to get changed and go over forms etc. Nothing new there - like the constant dash to the loo (they tell you not to drink anything after 7am and while you are sticking to the rule you still think you have to go all the time!!!). Anaestethist (sp?) looked a bit like one of our ex Players, which is always quite funny!! :) They confirmed that I didn't have a GA (general anaestethic) last time even though I was out. Suppose, I didn't have a Guedeltubus (i.e. wasn't intubated), so was just (!!!) sedated. LOL. Took them a little bit again to get into my vein, but canula was in and I got the nice cocktail... and was out again. Came back, just enough to take in the result (13 eggs) and to say bye to DH who went to work for a couple of hours and then went back to sleep with another whiff of CO2. :) Was the only EC this time, but there were 4 ETs (embryo transfers) going on so the nurses and the other specialist came over to t...

Here's yet another CJ entry from the SBS Forum , this time Andrea's. :) Her theme is "Inspiration". I've been using some of the "Spades Mystery kit" from the last UKS Cyber Crop and some of the beautiful Booming Blossoms Kit I got from Rebeccah! :)

Have been out into town twice already - first to EFREC, and then off to meet my friend Fiona for lunch. Was late for that as UPS turned up (FINALLY) with the Jerseys for the Junior Wolves and somehow we had to pay VAT & Customs for it (which was wrong as we had a deal with Wilson for that as far as I know). So dashing about the house to find one of our cheque books.... ;) Lunch with Fi was nice, talking about lots of things and came a couple of times back to the fact that my old work (SW) was wondering if I'd be happy to come back and help out ... so on the way back I phoned them, couldn't speak to the temporary boss but left message to call me back. I talked to the boss, told him what I have done (My name is beside lots of team controls still ... I left the place about 7 months ago!!! ;) ) and what my availability is ... I said 2 days (14 hours) per week and only from first full week June (due to the 2ww - 2 week wait). He's going to check with "the powers that be...

And my goodie how my body is reacting to the Menopur!! :) I've got 10+ follicles in each ovary, and they are growing fast as well!! Apparently I am today (day 6 of treatment) at the same stage as I was on day 9 last year!!! :D They've now reduced my dosage and I've got my next scan on Friday ... I may have EC on MONDAY depending on the sizes of the follies on Friday. :o So that's the good thing ... and then I finally read the discussion topic on Scotsman/Evening news about NHS Funding for IVF and I'm totally shocked at the negative comments from people there!!! DH has been posting on there, so have some friends from the ERI girls ... I can't even think of putting my angry thoughts about those ignorants into words, so won't post a comment on that link.... =:0

Might actually get some scrapping done tonight while Doug's doing the score board for the league. Wonder if there's anything interesting out there, although I had already a little nosey around Christiane's and Andrea's blogs which have NSD challenges up just now! :) Hopefully will be able to show some LOs at the end of the weekend!! :) On the home improvement front ... I am currently getting a loft ladder (not the nice wide wooden one, which doesn't fit between the beams, but a aluminium one which will live up in the loft!!) and we're still discussing the bath.

Bin von meiner "alten" Freundin "Josie" (Astrid) getagged worden - wusste gar nicht, dass sie auch unter die Blogger gegangen ist!! :) Nun versuch ich mal einen Eintrag auf Deutsch (mit englischer Uebersetzung) und schau dann mal, wem ich das "Blog Stoeckchen" rueberschmeisse. "FASS DICH KURZ" (nach dem Motto der Deutschen Post) * Translation: one of my old friends, Josie (Astrid) tagged me - didn't know she's a blogger as well!! :) I'll try a German entry now (with English translation) and see, whom I am going to tag then. "KEEP IT SHORT" (slogan of the Deutsche Post - German Mail). 1.) Wo ist Dein Handy? (where is your mobile?) Schlafzimmer (bedroom) 2.) Dein Partner? (your partner?) Schotte (Scots) 3.) Deine Haare? (your hair?) kastanie (angeblich) (apparently chestnut) 4.) Deine Mama? (your mom?) Lustig (funny) 5.) Dein Papa? (your dad?) Bierbauch *grins* (beer belly) 6.) Lieblingsgegenstand? (favourite item?) Lapto...

Found the link on Jakey's blog ... quite like it and probably has me to a "T". :) Read my VisualDNA ™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Had another scan today to check whether my cysts have increased size again but all is ready to go for tomorrow .... and this time it will be only 10 - 14 days on the stuff as I am already fully down regulated... :D Shame I have been on Zoladex for 6 months, so won't get my Puregon Pen (it's like an epi-pen, easy to use etc.) but have to use Menopur ... where I have to mix powder and liquid together (now, that reminds me of my "Sani" Kurse (about a bit like medic or paramedic over here I believe). First injection is tomorrow .... so I am not 100% sure if I look forward to it. All in all I seem to have about 10 - 12 follies (follicles) to deal with this time. Let's just hope that they all react, that I won't have any growing cysts and that the OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) stays away - I was borderline OHSS last year ... is it really a full year ago since I started my full cycle? Geeeesh! It's just scary with all those disruptions, isn't it? :...

Ack! We were late!!! :o Apparently they open the gates at 8pm but we arrived about 8:30pm! But hey, apart from throngs of people getting along Princes Street to Calton Hill everything was fine. :) Quite a crowd ... multinational, lots of French there, also a couple of Germans. ;) We walked up the way, didn't have anything in our bags that the security people would have to confiscate. So got up the steps, around the hill and were nearly at the place behind the observatory when Markus said he wasn't feeling so well. He doesn't seem to respond well to salads (gosh, I don't think I could survive that!! LOVE my salads!!!). So we went searching for the toilets. Found them, couldn't see any apparent queue for it so Markus went in the next free one. That's when I realised that there was a HUGE queue for them!!!! OOOPS!! But who's so stupid to put up 6 Dixies for 12000 people????? I am sure that's not within the guidelines for such events (and will have ...