My Life's Ingredients

Quite nice campus (not as nice as the improved Heriot Watt though ;) ) and first time ever for me to be act ually at Uni and living "on site" ... We've got flats here, sharing ours (flat 1 of Prestwold) with Mel and Jamie (don't know him I think) and have to say it's quite a nice flat. Small-ish rooms ... not designed for couples, so Doug and I have one room each ... en-suite shower and loo and a communal kitchen. Currently trying to get some channels to work on my laptop (TV) but I fear we won't get BBC1 or BBC3 on here :( Mobile phone doesn't get any signal either ... probably a steel cage ... :o My laptop has DTV, and we'd hoped to be able to record the last episode of DOCTOR WHO on it tomorrow night while we're at the Gala Dinner, but it doesn't look good. Wonder if we'd get any signal in the dining hall??? :D Drive down was ok, I woke up with headaches/migraine, so felt totally zapped in the car and probably could have slept all wa...

Day 5 at work ... that being over 4 weeks... :) Quite good, at least I am out of the house and around people (which in the past was mostly with Wolves Players/Fans or the Crop Girls) and actually EARNING money!! :) Having a new manager makes a huge difference! Ewan does the team mighty good, he doesn't stress us as much, doesn't set impossible targets and he KNOWS what work we're doing and has a clue how much stuff takes. I am doing the Unit-Linked correspondence queue (could have guessed that... :D ) which probably has about 60-70% UL cases, the rest is about ANYTHING ... change of bank details, tax correspondence, policy details... Apparently anything complex or anything that is regarding a UL policy is going in there, even though it's just change of bank details etc. The "indexing team" (another outsourcing!!) only seems to go for the class code of the policies... Mentioned that to Ewan today, so think he's getting someone to go through the work queu...

Another blood test this morning... and we're now done. Definitely below 5, and we're going to have a follow up appointment in July to see what we do for the next time, and when we are going to do the next cycle. My brain wasn't working too well for times today either ... I was convinced my acupuncture appointment was at 11:30am, but when I checked the calendar at 11:10 it showed I should have been there at 11!!! So gave Julia a quick call, she said that she's free for another couple of hours and so I went down for 12:30pm. Was good to get the needles put in again (never would have thought I'd say that... ever!!!), and Julia certainly found a congestion in my "kidney channel" ... probably all the toxins from the m/c. :o At least I don't have any more blood tests until we're on the next cycle ... phew! Was a bit much going back and forth to ERI. After dinner we went to see "Fantastic Four - Rise of the Silver Surfer" with Ali & Debs .....

It was great to see "Friday Night Lights" on the big screen again... DH and I have seen it in Orlando when it came out in 2004. Shame that I don't seem to be able to watch a sport movie which shows injuries and/or scan results without diagnosing every injury! LOL!! Well... it failed as a fund raiser ... because the concept of a fundraiser is to raise money ... I think we broke even. Think we had 30 people in total turning up. :( Shame we couldn't get one of the American Football Films from this year ... "We are Marshall", "Invincible" or "Gridiron Gang". That may have gotten us a bigger crowd ... or maybe just a non-football movie? Don't know. Any suggestions for fund raisers for our Junior and Senior teams are much appreciated! :o

... or something along those lines... ;) Parcelforce has picked up the box, all went fine ... and I still haven't cleaned the bathroom ... will skip that and leave it for tomorrow I think. :o Have to go into town in 1 hour for the Fund raiser cinema showing for our juniors. Not that we expect lots of people ... :( Wasn't handled too well, and friends actually thought it was cancelled as they haven't heard anything last week etc. :o

This time I am on the sending end, after I've called them "Parcelfarce" when we're at the receiving end... :O A box is waiting downstairs for pick up ... containing one complete football set ... pants, lowers, shoulder pads, jersey (old Wolves) and lid. Some photoshoot thingy in LONDON!!! So somehow the guy contacted us, after he didn't get anywhere with the teams in and around London. HAPPY TO OBLIGE!! Any promotion of our team is good ... as long as it is not dodgy!! :D First time I did the PF thing ... online, and pick up! At least I don't have to go to our PO with the box. That would be fun (NOT). Now ... am I going to start cleaning the bathroom? Or just do some scrapping or so while waiting for the Parcelforce guy? ... Mmmmh... think it's the bathroom ... really NEEDS some TLC just now. :)

That's it ... I'm bowing out again from the pregnancy quarter ... scan today didn't show anything, not even a flicker or a sac/yolk (but a small cyst again on left ovvie) and blood test came back with hCG 9. That's me for this round ... What went wrong? Was there something done wrong by the clinic? They gave us a different date for the ET than was written down on our sheet (maybe that's why my first scan was biochemical?) and I didn't get any more pessaries after they found out I was biochemical. No crying yet, it's not sunk in yet ... I am just feeling as if my body has been taking the mick the last 3 weeks!!! :( Off for another scan/blood test on Friday and then we'll see what's going on. Think they still have to make sure that there is nothing ectopic anywhere... :o I'm going to ease back into diet tomorrow (with a small change for tomorrow and Wednesday for lunch) just to be on the safe side. It's weird ... I felt like I connected wit...

Well... stopped bleeding this morning (for the time being ... still worrying about everything!!!) so decided to take it easy to prevent new bleeding to start - stupid thinking? Well, brain function is not up to speed at the moment anyway!! ;) So have been doing some washing up, filling & emptying the dishwasher (thank goodness we bought that thing!!!) and shredding papers. :) Rest of the day I've been playing some games I've downloaded from Big Fish Games (those free trial for 60 mins thingies). My favourites are currently those "Time Management" games like "Coffee Shop", "Grimm's Hatchery" etc. :) FUN! And NO idea why I like them. :) Was actually thinking about scrapping a bit today, but ... errr.. games got in the way. However, saw Anam's journal entry for today's "Scrap-A-Month" challenge and while we're having a different basis I think I am using that challenge for another LO for my IVF album (which I haven'...

Well... what have you! Been renewing my "friendship" with the loo, and can't sleep (but eyes are droopy and all that ... just cannot fall asleep!!!). Doesn't help that DH has problems with his hayfever again, so blocked nose breathing, snoring etc. keeps me from falling asleep - I really need absolute quiet to fall asleep ... or need to listen to music. That's something I started as a child and only stopped a couple of years ago, i.e. I couldn't fall asleep without music at all until ... mmmh... say 2004/05? Wish I could switch off the brain from the fear of miscarriage as well ... would help with the sleeping, wouldn't it? If I have problems tomorrow I'm going to have a nice hot milk with honey or maybe Whittards Dreamtime. Hope that all this is a good sign towards pregnancy and the impending scan on Monday ... have to phone EFREC later today to confirm the time ... think it was 11:30am but could be 10:30am ... was totally shocked when they told me a...

Well, we've been doing some housework today - stuff we usually don't have time for (i.e. going through the boxes in the spare bedroom... also called "box room" for obvious reasons! LOL). Well, DH did it ... I did a shop inventory for the American Football stuff we got from the BAFL (British American Football League) for selling at our home games. Then did some ironing as well. Just cannot take time out and keep the feet up which everyone seems to suggest for me because of the bleeding. It kept my mind off things though (well.. as much as that can be in my situation). Tonight I had to google/read up on the FF Forum again ... the bigger clot still worries me, but it was just the one ... and I AM having clots normally during AF which is because of the endometriosis. From what I heard you'd have lots of clots when you have a m/c, so I'll grab that straw and hope for the best on Monday. Somehow cannot get the thought out of my head that we may have lost one of...

Had to do a CJ Entry ... was already a bit late. But somehow my MOJO is still not with me ... well, it's probably because it was one of the few CJ entries where I don't use photos ... and that's a bit hard for me. ;) And of course the fact that I usually don't use those "pop-out" colours ... :) Maybe I should look into scrapping some of my summer/Florida photos with those colours? Theme for the CJ was "Colourful" and "Quotes". I've used my current favourite Quote "And why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up" (Batman Begins) on my new quotation stamps and on the top I used a quote I found googling today ... "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul and paints his own nature into his pictures" (Henry Ward Beecher). Not sure how I feel about this entry ... hope Inga from the SBS Forum likes it!! Doing the CJ has taken my thoughts a bit off things, but no big news ... I am still slightly bleeding, have...

Still bleeding ... surely I shouldn't really? Been reading up on the Web and Fertility Friends and while there are several posts/infos about bleeding being more common than you'd think, it is still worrying. Also had some clots yesterday night ... and quite a bit of cramps. :( But not very bad pain, i.e. not different to period or endo pains, so do not think it's a miscarriage ... well, I HOPE it's not! Or maybe just one of the two little ones? DH asked me a couple of times if I want to phone EFREC about it, but right now I am feeling ok-ish - do ubt they can bring the scan forward (apparently I am going to start my 6th week next Monday). Cramps have gone now, and the bleeding is reduced, my tummy is not happy with the food I had today and else ... heartburn, feeling warm (but have no fever) and all that. Really have to put this picture on my blog!!!! It's an Orange Spot ... the sign for Sticky vibes etc. on Fertility Friends . Ok, little un/s ... hold on!!...

Tired, crampy and still bleeding ... that's me, on the way to EFREC, all grumpy etc. Just waiting for a fallout with DH really ... we usually don't spend that much time (24/7) in the same place together if we're not on holiday AWAY from home... ;) Arrived at 9:15 am at the clinic, all was fairly quiet so got seen fairly quickly. Irene drew blood today, told her about the period pain, the bleeding and all that. We already switched to next cycle, about what the waiting list is (private for fresh is December without cancellation), what the situation for LHB (NHS) funding ... we only get an FET (frozen embryo transfer) on LHB because they got 4 frosties out of me with the funded cycle ... So once we phone at lunch we'd probably get an appointment with one of the consultants for a follow up. DH joked about that it would be typical for us to get a BFP after all ... with all the ups and downs etc. But just a joke as usual. While I expected a BFP on Wednesday really still, I am...

Tomorrow is our 2nd beta test for the hCG ... I've been bleeding (really, not just spotting ... but it's light red and no clots in it like normal period) since Friday and so don't expect any good result tomorrow. Told my mum about that, was feeling crappy all day and really could do without going into EFREC tomorrow just to get blood taken and then having to phone again at lunch to be told that it's now a BFN! :( Watched the first episode of "Vanished" today ... quite good, will continue watching it.