Wednesday, 14 June 2006

Test result ... blood says "NO"

...well.. there you have it. It's a BFN (big fat negative) for me on the first IVF cycle (well... first full one that is). All went fine until Tuesday morning when I started my period (and I thought that you couldn't have that when being on Progesterone?) ... I had the gut feeling that it was over at around lunch time so had a warning .. but DH still had problems to come to grips with it.

Blood test this morning was just confirmation really. We also were told that only 2 of our 4 leftover embryos made it to "frosties" (i.e. were frozen). As they were frozen togehter we have a 50/50 chance for them not surviving the thawing process. FET (Frozen embryo transfer) waiting list is shorter (I believe 3 months on self funded) than full cycle but seeing the stats for that (being 15% successful?!?!) we decided that we will go for another full cycle - which is at the moment pinned down for January 2007 but can be earlier if there are cancellations. They want me to take a break from IVF for 3 months anyway, so there you go.

We don't know what went wrong. And the doctors won't be able to tell me either. That's why the success rate for IVF is lower than the rate for ICSI (that's when the "problem" lies with the male partner). I'm just totally frustrated about the unfairness from NHS - for every self funded cycle we get one of our free NHS cycles deducted. That system is just not right, is it??? Yes, surely, we get to do our cycle earlier than the people on NHS (currently 3 years waiting list - and we're still having to wait yet another year - i.e. 2008 - if we'd go NHS!!!) - but we pay blimming money for it! Just to have a 40% chance of getting pregnant!!!! That's so unfair!

Still hasn't sunk in yet I believe - D/H and I have switched on our "coping mechanisms" just now - I did some cleaning and he re-did the budget as well as fully focusing on the Meadowbank Event on 24th June. Wonder when that's going to change to weepiness. I am supposed to go back to work on Tuesday but am not sure if I am ready then????

2 comments:

sharonfruit said...

(((((((HUGZ)))))))

Go back to work when you feel ready and not a minute before. You've every right to feel upset and you need the time to come to terms with things.

Anam said...

((hugs)) each day, each step own its own.