I hate those calls …

All was ok … bit busy at work, bit annoyed about buses/traffic in Edinburgh and me taking 1.5 hours to get to/from work.

Left home after dinner to get to Ceroc – a new venue for me, and promptly went to the wrong St Stephen’s – who’d known there are two St. Stephen’s Churches close together in Edinburgh!!! :o

Arrived at the one at Comely bank, the women walking past me were carrying familiar little green folders and one told me “There’s hardly any queue!” – A queue? For Ceroc? Surely not????  But I was told it’s busy on Tuesdays ….  But when I arrived at the door for the Church Hall I saw a sign for Weight Watchers … errr… yeah… not really where I wanted to go today.  So figured it had to be the other St Stephens, fortunately not too far away.

Managed to park the car after a bit of circling around, had a missed call from DH and when I got to the door a message to call him asap.

Called him and he told me my mum phoned … he just understood the word “gestorben” (died) and believed it was Oma (my gran) but wasn’t too certain. And he said my mum wanted me to call back but could do that once I’m back from dancing.

Well… not really something you’ll put off, so I phoned Germany … and yes, my granny died. Again, out of my other set of grandparents (the only one left) the one who was healthier and not really believed the first to go.

She had a heart attack (or something along the lines) a week or so back, got through her birthday (13/9), was back in the nursing home and then things turned bad, blood in lungs and she had trouble breathing.

My mum visited her yesterday, she said it was quite sweet as Oma was singing in her sleep, waking up, smiling and my mum and then dosing off again, still singing. Mum waved her goodbye in one of the moments Oma was awake and went home, then got a call today that Oma died (apparently she just didn’t wake up – died in her sleep – like my Granny).

There won’t be a funeral – my Oma and Opa (granddad) decreed in their will that they don’t want to have a wake or funeral, just an anonymous scattering of ashes (I think so nobody feels obliged to tend to their grave).

I’m torn with my feelings, partly I’m glad I saw her back in June (only 3 months ago!) when she was fairly active, but on the other hand it’s yet again someone from my family dying when I’m not around.  It’s like “history” repeating itself.

Was sitting outside the church hall for a bit bawling, then followed my mum’s and Doug’s advice to go for a bit of dancing – stayed for the intermediate class, a couple of dances and went back home at 10pm.

Still not come to terms with the situation really, but … can’t do anything about it.

It’s just all so sad that none of my grandparents will be alive to see any great grandchildren from us. Now it’s only my granddad left, and in June he looked more like a skeleton, high chest and sunken in tummy, more a skull than a face and he was mostly sleeping. Mum has not told him yet, he’s not that compos mentis anymore… and I suspect he’ll follow Oma soon.

RIP Oma – you’ll be missed!!