My Life's Ingredients

That's it! My last CJ (Circle Journal) entry and that's the circle finished. It's Anne's (Scrapbookannie from UKS) "Passion for Fashion" CJ from our Scottish Scrappers CJ Group 2. And I swear I won't do any more CJs for at least 6 months. Haven't had any time to do any "real" LO (layouts) since I got involved with CJs ... So hopefully that will get me back on track with LOs and gift albums I have to do by end of the year.

Had my 3rd scan today and felt fairly apprehensive … specially when Dr Ding was counting the follies …. I believe it was 11 on the right and around 11 on the left … So I got scared that they would call off the whole thing and just do the EC (egg collection) and fertilize them and then “put them on ice”. Frosties (how we call them), however, have about 50% less success rate than normal IVF. But all went fine, saw the nurse for the obligatory blood test and Ciara said she suspects that I will be ready for the EC on Wednesday. When I phoned in at lunch to check the blood test result (to see what my Puregon dose will be and also to find out about the EC date this time) I spoke to Ciara who confirmed that the EC will be Wednesday … phew! The hormone levels seem to be ok as well, so it looks unlikely to be OHSS and just the EC but no ET (egg transfer). So tonight it’s the last injection and then nothing tomorrow – I think it will feel weird as the whole “jabbing” was part of my daily routine

Mmmh… you would think I’d enjoy the “time off football” … but I don’t. Somehow yesterday after a very bad department night out (I knew there was a reason why I usually didn’t go to them!!) I felt kinda empty. Something was missing. Yes, I admit it – I am missing WOLVES GAME DAYS. Even though they are usually horribly stressful for both DH and I – but they were something I love. Doing the whole trainer prep and then seeing “my boys” on the pitch is just something else. Missing the whole “Wolves – are you ready???!” (only works with Ali’s voice though – Lorne did it in 2004 but it didn’t sound right… ;) ) etc. Am I weird? Think the whole thing has become far too much a part of me and it’s hard to have a “timeout” for a year (if you don’t count the friendlies we hope to play this year). DH says he doesn’t miss it (well.. okay, he usually got totally stressed out and hardly any game passed without him having a “hurricane”)… not sure if he understands what I am feeling/missing. So, hopefull

Now … I’m not too sure why nature can be sooo cruel??? I mean .. having to go through IVF to get pregnant is enough, don’t you think? But then being told by the consultant that I have a small risk of OHSS (Ovary hyper simulation syndrome) is a bit much to take, isn’t it? Scan was today, and somehow the left ovary decided to produce follicles (“follies”) like mad … believe it was about 11 in the left and 8 in the right? Anyway, I am growing too good – and if it turns out that I have OHSS then they will do an “emergency OP” to drain the follicles but they won’t put them back in this time. The eggs will be fertilized and then put on ice (“frosties”). Not what I want – I heard that the success rate for frosties is 50% of the normal IVF success rate (and read somewhere it’s less than 20%). YIKES!!! I really hope that my body behaves from now on!!! This time we had Irene as nurse and it was the usual blood test. But this time I had to wait until lunch to get information about the dose for Pu

Had my first scan with the 2nd drug this morning (another day of getting up at 6:30am ... some people say I should get used to it - if the IVF works and all that... ;) ). Everything is doing fine so far, my follies (follicles) are growing according to plan and they could spot 7 about a good size (i.e. 6+mm). Next scan is Friday and then hopefully the EC next Wednexday or Friday. I really hope that I don't have to wait yet another week ... it seems sooo long since I started doing the injections (well.. ok... 23 days)!! ***** Cow Patrol was cancelled today due to crap weather. It was windy when I left work and we'd probably made it to the top of the Meadows and maybe to George's Square when the rain hit (but fortunately I was just getting home that time). It's weird weather for end of May - even for Scotland!!! Freezing cold and then hail!! Hope it changes soon. Okay, gotta dash now ... want to watch CSI instead of just catching glimpses from the corner of my eyes ... :D

Had my scan on Thursday and was good to go onto phase II of the IVF treatment. Got another snazzy bag (this time burgundy-ish red - Wolves colours ... LOL - looks a bit like a "men's handbag") and for the 2nd drug I can use a pen (like the one diabetics use). So it's really easy peasy ... although my tummy looks now like a pin cushion with lots of red dots on it as I have to do 2 injections per day now. 2nd drug does help with the side-effects of the 1st one though - I am not feeling so tired/exhausted/zapped anymore like I did all last week! PHEW!! Something good at least! I have my next scan on Tuesday - will see if they have to change the dosage or if my eggs are growing according to plan ... :)

Funny things, these cows ... came across the first one last Friday when Doug and I went for a pre-theatre meal at Gordon's Trattoria on Royal Mile. We saw the Brave Coo (Braveheart Cow) and I just had to take a picture of it!! :) Yesterday I took pictures of 2 cows at my bus stop ... and I hope that I will be able to take pics of lost of the cows soon - maybe on Monday when I am off? Depending on the weather of course ... today and yesterday it's nothing but pouring down!! (and England has a drought!!!).

Had today one of those uninspiring lazy days ... I have been doing some housework and then watching TV and catching up on Battlestar Galactica with DH. Should be happy about all this, but somehow I am not. I am feeling crap, must be the interrupted sleep I have due to having to do the injections at around the same time each day - weekends and days off included... :( Due to my working pattern this means 7 or 7:30am each day ... with Saturday to Monday incl. being my days off ... I feel I am not getting enough sleep and feel not very active (probably partly side effects, but maybe it's the old stress/depression thing raising its ugly head again???!! I hope not!). Really could do with a break, but that won't happen until I have my first operation (harvesting eggs ... LOL) - which could be 1st June. I really hope that the scan on Thursday shows I can go to stage 2 of the treatment and that I then will only take 2 weeks to get to the EC (egg collection).... I really don't know i

That's me up again in the wee hours to finish my bidding on 2 cryo cuffs (ice-like treatment) ... won one and the other one is still to finish in 3 mins. :) I MUST BE MAD!! :D But then - it's cheaper for me to get these through E-bay from the US than buying them in the UK ... weird thing. In the US people buy them more frequently for just one usage ... while I just need one "cuff" for each joint (got the shoulder, won the knee and will get the ankle as well!! ;) ). Ah... ok, missed out on the ankle ... tough. But that's ok, they will be back on again... and I can now go to bed to sleep until 7:30am - then it's injection and back to bed for a couple of hours ... interrupted sleep is not good for you, I know - but that's what I have to put up with for at least 3 more weeks ... :P

... I have started to copy entries from my old blog to this one so I can cancel my subscription with Typepad ... So you will see older entries showing up before the first entry I have made.

There you go – 1.5 weeks into the treatment and I have full blown side effects … ranging from grumpyness (DH will vouch for that!!!), headaches (and that although I am drinking 2 litres water per day!) and hot flushes … I am SOOO glad that Kev at work has a fan!! Today I didn’t go to work because my headaches from yesterday were still there and in addition I had cramps .. ugh! Really hate this and am getting to the point where I just want to hide in bed or at least at home. Didn’t realise how long work is taking out of me during this – because I was signed off last November. It’s really “zapping” me and all I can do is come home and flop onto the couch or bed … and I think DH doesn’t really understand that that is all I can do … he’s trying to get me to go to the gym … which I can understand and I want to do, but – to say it “Little Britain” way – “Body says no!” Ah well, scan is planned for 18th to see if I can go on to phase 2 of the treatment … my “voodoo master” says that the drugs